The Path

“Mai I te Kahui maunga ki Tangaroa, Ko au te awa, ko te awa au.” Ine the Mauri language this translates to, “From the mountain to the sea, I am the river and river is me.” The Mauri people of the Whanganui River valley say this when describing their connection to their sacred land. When in reflection I often think back on my journey through this sacred land and the 18^th day my cycling journey up New Zealand. For only spending a day through this area I still feel a connection, like I left a piece of me there. This winter I spent up in the mountains felt like that day when looking back on it.

            It starts with ‘Dread.’ At the end of October it was very real that I would be leaving all my friends, family and new work family that welcomed me in with open arms. I was not exactly eager about making new friends in a place where I knew just my extended family. It continued with work. My new job was like no other I had done before. There was a lot of work to do to establish a base I could work with and also some things I was going to have to sacrifice. But the thing with ‘Dread’ is that it is much like the wick to a burning candle, you eventually must face the fact the wick will hit the bottom and have to move on to a new candle.

            ‘Realization.’ Although a short bit of the journey, realization of what you are  in for, or expect to be in for, plays an important role in your attitude headed forward. As the season began it started to dawn on me what a cool experience I had stumbled on, and although there were some long days ahead, it was all going to be easier doing what I loved beside some great people, minus the horses.

            ‘Rolling River Valley.’ Much like cycling through a rolling and winding river valley, this season had many of its own twists, turns, ups and downs. From the success and praise to the struggles of working and running a business that is remote and solely relies in a mode of transportation from over a century ago. Despite all of these struggles we were still moving forward and there was more to learn from our struggles than our success.

            ‘Unfortunate Ending.’ This is where the journey takes a slight diversion. On my cycling we rolled into what we thought was our final hill into town only to learn we had another 30km more to travel and it was essentially all up hill. I remember this hill bringing me through the full range of emotions. So although I didn’t have 30km to go, the sudden stopping to this season brought the emotions. At the beginning I was excited to get off the mountain because, even though it sounds weird to say now, I felt very isolated. Oh past Tanner how little you knew. But as it sank in I got sad. Although the mountain and cabin had felt like isolation, it was some great people and family. I felt fear of the unknown that I was headed towards. Lastly I experienced anger, both at the amount of work put into things we could no longer do. But also at the thing that was causing all of this to happen.

            ‘Thankful.’ As I sit here in isolation at my parents’ home waiting to move in ten days; I can fully appreciate and be thankful for what I had this past five months. I learned so much about what I could accomplish. I’m thankful for the ability to have a place to stay after things changed so quickly. As I try to figure out how to close this post I look back on the one that inspired the format for todays writing. In the last paragraph I talked about how different my situation was one year before that post and how I was not yet the man I wanted to be, but I was on the right path. Today I am still on that path but ahead there is heavy fog and navigation seems almost impossible. But this path only has one direction, so I move ahead. One cautious step at a time, alone but eyes and ears alert.