Tink Positive!

 

    Hello to all those who have made it through the insanity that has been 2020. Last we talked I was working on creating a new ‘norm’ in the midst of our first lockdown. I think I may have been really on to something with that virtual bar/diner and also may have had a couple on the house when trying to use Word’s speech to text function; back to good old typing for this one. Lots has happened since April in my life, well mostly work life, I got a new job back in the corporate kitchen world. I learning lots about myself and being more vulnerable in my development and have made some big strides. But mostly I am working on happiness and positivity. Things people find difficult enough normally around this holiday season, but have become ever more difficult in the midst of a global pandemic.

At the beginning of November I had five days of work I needed to take off so that I could use all my vacation days before our ‘busy season’ hit. For the most part I am very involved person with work. I struggle to separate work and my personal life and constantly find myself reading and replying to emails or calls when I off work hours. Well business was as usual for the first three of my five days off, I was still reading and replying to emails as well as tackling some work that I had been putting off. But for the final two days I completely removed myself from work and disconnected. What I came back to was only two days of emails but the theme and vibe was missing something. Not a single email was positive, and this wasn’t to say they were negative but not a single email or communication included any form of recognition or praise. Now I am in no way saying this is something that only develops when I am away but rather my disconnection allowed me the vision to the whole that was missing in the way we managed our and furthermore our life.

The week this all occurred for me was just after our province implemented further Covid measures to try and slow the growth of our numbers. That in turn brought about some of the most crippling sales we had seen since the beginning of the pandemic. So what I returned to was grim. We needed to cut our forecasts by a quarter and in turn the hours for our staff as well. So my view came to this. We have people who are losing the bulk of their income as we approach what is the financially stressful time of the year and the options in our industry for more work look vaguely like what I imagine it must have looked like for Video store rental staff as they saw Netflix destroy their industry. Quick point of clarification, I am not trying to blame the covid measures for the fall of our industry. Safety First! The Cherry on top, the people managing them through this time completely forgot to stop and appreciate but rather asked for more, albeit in an effort to preserve their jobs for the future. So what is the answer and solution?

If you have ever worked with me you will surely have heard me say, “Attitude is influential.” If I being a positive person insert myself into a scenario and exert my positive attitude it stands to reason that the people around me will be more positive, the same for the opposite. But the reality is this isn’t just occurring in my industry and it’s not just occurring in work, it is occurring in everyday life and I am only one person. Life is harder than it was a year ago, people are struggling in new ways and they may not be showing it. To be honest I don’t have the answers or solutions, but I like to think I am pretty good at making people smile or at the very least making the shitty things less so. 

So with all that, I have a request of all those that read this. During this holiday season, and for that matter it’s just good practise, before you approach any kind of communication whether is an email, phone call, zoom call or the ever more rare in person meeting. Please bring up something positive, thank them for being them, acknowledge the success they still managed amongst this chaos, tell them you really like their new covid style. Whatever it may be I promise not only will it brighten that individuals day, whether they need it or not, but it will bring you joy and that will bring positivity. 

I remember earlier this year, in the pre covid times, I sat down down to write a post because I was stressing about a food critic coming to the restaurant. What I wrote about was something someone used to say to me, “Life sucks, then you die.” I find when things are difficult I reflect on this and it helps. Life does suck, and yes I will die. With all that out of the way look at all the positivity we have left! You are surviving in one of the worst global pandemics and are coming out a stronger person, people love you, you’re probably better at baking, you saved money on travelling this year, and you probably got to do some of those things at home you were putting off. If all that is not enough then know that despite how hard and overbearing it may seem I can guarantee that with you in it the world is a better place and people are better because of you!

As my late Auntie Roef would say, ‘Tink Positive’

Love Tanner

Auntie Karina, I miss you endlessly and if there was ever person that personified positivity, it was you. The world could use your outlook right now! 

Finding A New Normal

There was an article about four weeks ago that said during these times of crisis and intense social change it is important to not change at all routines and to find a normal within the new restrictions. I’ve been thinking on this article since coming back to the coast and how I could adapt my life up in Silverstar to the self-isolation down here.

The first step in that is analyzing what I was doing in my normal routine at Silver star and of the normal routine what do I want to continue doing. A typical day started for me around 9 AM. I would roll over in bed and I would just lie in bed reading emails and browsing the Internet. Around 10 AM, sometimes later and a few times too late, I would get up and shower and shave. After a short walk to the village I will go to my favourite lunch spot; Long Johns Pub. Long Johns was ran by two of my favourite people, both named John. Every day I would work I would be here, for the most part; sitting at the bar, having a coffee, doing my reports and prep lists, eating and generally shooting the shit with the ‘Johns.’ As a small side I think this is the thing I miss most in the quarantine. Post lunch meant it was work time, so a short walk from the Village to the end of the parking lot for my transportation was kept. If you never saw any pictures my transportation was a 1998 ski Doo touring LE with a broken speedometer stuck at 21,000 miles. Once you got the old gal started up it was a short one kilometre ride down the trail to The Wildhorseman’s Cabin. Once I got the fire started it is straight to work. In a typical day we would serve anywhere from 50 to 100 people, in which it was just me cooking, a server and three Teamsters, from here on out known as crazy horse ladies. Each day consisted of three tours; a hot chocolate and cookies tour and two dinner tours. Work would usually wrap up around 10 PM. At this point the decision lied in what kind of lovely patrons we had for dinner service. Did they imagine our restaurant also as a daycare service for the demon spawn they, with a facade of innocence, called children? Or was it a group of friends that had made the magical decision to leave their kids out of this night? Unfortunately for my liver it was more often in the prior. Lights out in the village or a lovely event. Most of the time it started right where I had lunch nine or so hours ago, Long Johns. Monday through Thursday you could catch the last 30 minutes of a live set by a local musician, easily egged on by our chants of ‘encore!’ For the most part it was just the regulars, maybe a few tables, people who have been coming on vacation for many years, and we would drink and converse at the bar top; just ourselves and the staff, it was basically Cheers! If it was a Friday or Saturday we might venture over to the Red Antler for a theme night or some DJ or band. Play it meant a snowy walk back to bed. Now some people will ask about snowboarding. Depending on weather and how busy of a day I had in front of me I would usually only ride on work days if it was a bluebird or something people I knew were going out that morning, otherwise it was on days off. As for non-work nights; my roommates and I had a Wednesday night tradition of drinks and “Life Below Zero.” We are big fans of Glenn and Sue. So that was my normal, how do I apply it to the life in self isolation I live now.

I think the best start to a new normal is illuminating the stuff we didn’t like, it’s important to keep a positive environment in these times. Doing this case I’m illuminating being a daycare for devil children, I’m not seeing your kids are Satan’s spawn but these peoples were, and horses, screw that animal. So the start of my day will essentially be the same except I’m not rolling over and looking at a ski hill but instead I am looking outdoors at Mount Baker, both beautiful. As far as walking to the Village pub and having lunch with some fantastic people, we are going to have to get creative. The walk is easy…. Down my stairs and into the kitchen. Lunch will have to be cooked by me, as well as the coffee. The company is where I need your help! If people are working from home and want to Skype/video chat, however it happens, and talk, cook lunch, and eat. I would be super stoked! Honestly PM me or comment or just call! Let’s start a virtual diner! Anyways moving on from quarantine altering great ideas. As you’ve guessed I am not working at this time. So creating a normal of work every day has been interesting. I’ve mostly been spending at writing recipes and ideas that I have scribbled throughout notebooks for the last for five years. I try and spend a minimum two hours a day doing this. When I am done at ’work’ I try and get a little exercise and leave the house; whether it be walking to the grocery store or just around in our new neighborhood. When I get home I get back to ‘work,’ by cooking dinner. I’ve been trying to make something new every time or at the least writing down an actual recipe I like to make. From here we arrive at the end of the ‘work day.’ Considering I’ve decided to eliminate the restaurant daycare hell spawn from my life we can safely assume I don’t go to the bar… Wrong! Social isolation is difficult for a person that loves the social interaction in life. So thoughts are we open up the virtual diner for drinks after dinner. I’ll even hold a towel and wipe down the surface in front of me. Not sure if this is a great idea or if it’s the slow insanity creeping in. The rest is fairly easy, I can put myself to bed.

The goal of this post was to find a new normal with in this crazy world we are living in. But I hope it also provide a little escape. This is an incredibly mentally taxing time for a lot of people, myself included. So if you ever just want to talk, make some food together, or just share a drink(alcoholic or not). I promise you I will be there. As much as this is a time when we need to be physically apart it is also the time we need to be together in community and support. I wish you all the best in this crazy time. Stay safe and healthy. Let’s go to bar! A virtual bar.

The Path

“Mai I te Kahui maunga ki Tangaroa, Ko au te awa, ko te awa au.” Ine the Mauri language this translates to, “From the mountain to the sea, I am the river and river is me.” The Mauri people of the Whanganui River valley say this when describing their connection to their sacred land. When in reflection I often think back on my journey through this sacred land and the 18^th day my cycling journey up New Zealand. For only spending a day through this area I still feel a connection, like I left a piece of me there. This winter I spent up in the mountains felt like that day when looking back on it.

            It starts with ‘Dread.’ At the end of October it was very real that I would be leaving all my friends, family and new work family that welcomed me in with open arms. I was not exactly eager about making new friends in a place where I knew just my extended family. It continued with work. My new job was like no other I had done before. There was a lot of work to do to establish a base I could work with and also some things I was going to have to sacrifice. But the thing with ‘Dread’ is that it is much like the wick to a burning candle, you eventually must face the fact the wick will hit the bottom and have to move on to a new candle.

            ‘Realization.’ Although a short bit of the journey, realization of what you are  in for, or expect to be in for, plays an important role in your attitude headed forward. As the season began it started to dawn on me what a cool experience I had stumbled on, and although there were some long days ahead, it was all going to be easier doing what I loved beside some great people, minus the horses.

            ‘Rolling River Valley.’ Much like cycling through a rolling and winding river valley, this season had many of its own twists, turns, ups and downs. From the success and praise to the struggles of working and running a business that is remote and solely relies in a mode of transportation from over a century ago. Despite all of these struggles we were still moving forward and there was more to learn from our struggles than our success.

            ‘Unfortunate Ending.’ This is where the journey takes a slight diversion. On my cycling we rolled into what we thought was our final hill into town only to learn we had another 30km more to travel and it was essentially all up hill. I remember this hill bringing me through the full range of emotions. So although I didn’t have 30km to go, the sudden stopping to this season brought the emotions. At the beginning I was excited to get off the mountain because, even though it sounds weird to say now, I felt very isolated. Oh past Tanner how little you knew. But as it sank in I got sad. Although the mountain and cabin had felt like isolation, it was some great people and family. I felt fear of the unknown that I was headed towards. Lastly I experienced anger, both at the amount of work put into things we could no longer do. But also at the thing that was causing all of this to happen.

            ‘Thankful.’ As I sit here in isolation at my parents’ home waiting to move in ten days; I can fully appreciate and be thankful for what I had this past five months. I learned so much about what I could accomplish. I’m thankful for the ability to have a place to stay after things changed so quickly. As I try to figure out how to close this post I look back on the one that inspired the format for todays writing. In the last paragraph I talked about how different my situation was one year before that post and how I was not yet the man I wanted to be, but I was on the right path. Today I am still on that path but ahead there is heavy fog and navigation seems almost impossible. But this path only has one direction, so I move ahead. One cautious step at a time, alone but eyes and ears alert.

My Value of Food

                

            I like many people I'm one of those that struggles to sleep right before a big day. Whether that is a positive one or not doesn't really make a difference to the struggle to sleep, but it does change what I think about. Before a big thing that I have really been looking forward to or have been a lot of work into my mind always seems to drift into the negative. Not in the ways that I can screw it up but that for some reason I don't deserve it. Now I am by no means a saint and I've done some things that I’m not proud of but I'm sure this doesn't mean that I don't deserve to achieve or experience big things in my life. So obviously this came from somewhere. Tomorrow or rather today I'm doing my first wine pairing dinner in several years and I guess the nervousness has me spiralling. I’m not sure why I started off with this little foray into my mind but I guess it be slightly into what I was going to write about today. What food means to me and how I think about it.

One of my earliest memories of food is from when I was very young, maybe four or five, and I was down on White Rock Beach with my parents at a restaurant called Uli’s. If you know me well then you’ll know that this is still one of my favourite restaurants. In this memory I was sitting and eating clams and mussels. I’m not sure if it’s my brain filling it in but I can still taste that oh so amazing combination of butter, seafood and garlic. This memory stands out because I remember people coming up to my parents and commenting on how they were so impressed that a child as young as I was, would be eating clams and mussels. I’ve had many magical food memories since then, but seeing as it is approaching one in the morning and I should probably get some sleep, I will jump ahead to high school. In grade 10 in British Columbia you take a course called planning, basically it is supposed to teach you important things for life. Well one of those ‘important’ things is doing this test that tells you some jobs you'll be good at. My top three were chef, brew master, and chemist; in that order. So that year I thought it was my destiny to be a chef so I entered in the cafeteria program, basically culinary training, and threw myself at every opportunity I could. We’ve got a little off track but this memory needed backstory; it will help later, I think. One of those opportunities was cooking after school for banquets and I was lucky enough to be chosen to cut the roast beef at the end of the buffet. Seeing the pleased faces of people enjoying what I know realize was pretty basic meat brought joy and seared a memory. There's a lot of memories and reasons to attribute to what I do for a living but these will always stand out and that’s what I value so highly about food is that ability to not only sear a memory but also its ability to recollect old ones.

Food is more than just memories though, it's also feelings and environment. One of the worst meals I've ever had was living at camp in Kitimat, British Columbia. I know very stereotypical, camp food is bad, we've all heard it before but to be honest, besides lunches, the food in camp wasn't all that terrible by taste standards. This meal was record setting for its incredible combination of feeling and environment and not for taste. To paint the picture it was approaching mid-July and I was working an extra-long turn around so I could take 2 weeks off to go camping with my family. It was day 30 of 35 and I had just finished a sweaty 12 hour day and was excited to eat dinner and pass out until 5:00 AM for work the next day. It was lasagna/Italian night and after I grabbed my meal and headed for a beverage the fire alarm started going off. Fairly normal for camp, but before I had any chance to react we were informed it was a test and to continue eating. Well turns out something was wrong and the alarm wouldn't turn off. So coupled with being tired, weary, and missing home we had this blaring alarm. Now if you didn't know taste is greatly affected by noise, especially a blaring fire alarm. So I tried to finish my bland chewy lasagna and get the heck out of that hellhole. I'll never forget that meal because as a chef it reminded me of the importance of setting a great environment and that includes trying to positively affect the mood of your guest. Because no matter how good it tastes, if they went in upset or an otherwise bad mood they won't be open to the full experience of your dish.

The last part of the food that makes me enjoy it so much is what it brings, company. I've never been a big fan of the Christmas Holidays. Buying and receiving gifts has never been my strong suit. What I do enjoy is the gathering of friends and family. The Holidays usually means big meals or parties with lots of little appetizers. The company of friends and family I was lucky enough to grow up with included some extraordinary cooks. So as a combination the two were very formative to what I saw ‘food’ could bring. The same eyes closed and mouth full look that I strive to achieve was first discovered at a family dinner around my Oma’s table. My uncle Fred was taking the drippings of the roast chicken and was spooning it on everyone's rice. Just a simple thing but such an unbelievable flavour. This is one of my favorite food moments because the people around me, just like the environment affects the taste, the flavours of a simple dish are heightened by having the great company around you.

This all being said ‘food’ has meant so much to me in my life and has given me an opportunity to work in the most amazing environments. This post took a little while to write so I write this a month after doing my pairing dinner, we've actually done 2 now, and for all the things I've experienced in my life that I relate to food I realized I wanted my guests to experience that. And due to some unfortunate booking miscommunications we ended up with only 8 people out of the 20 we thought we would have. The dinner was designed to be sat like a family dinner, a little easier with 8 people. As well I included a welcome wine so that everyone could come together as a group and get to know each other. Much to my surprise, everything I did to make everyone come together worked and we had an unbelievable evening. With all my values of food and my time in this industry I've never considered my cooking to be the reason that I've gotten to the places I have. But this felt new, not sure if it's been the separation from corporate kitchens, no down play on the importance I place on this part of my career, or the reading and environment I’ve been in but something worked for these dines and it felt great. I've been so gracious this year too been given some insanely amazing praise for the restaurant from turning around guest experience, offers of the unbelievable and even a few standing ovations. But my biggest critic will always be myself and I am happy to say that although there a few things I wish I could change and I am not always happy with everything, for the most part I am proud of what we’ve accomplished this year. So it’s back to the books and knives for me something is heating up and I intend to try it. Cheers!

What We Do With the Rest

     Well I did it again! Just over a year ago I wrote about reflection and what the last two years had been. Five months before that I attempted to put a notebook on my bedside table and write my thoughts. Well I got to it a little earlier this time and only left it for two months, that is if it make it to the internet or remains yet another unfinished piece.

            The last year has been a whirlwind. February started the year off in a promising way. I returned to work from disability and took off, devoting a lot of time and effort to becoming a better chef, leader and also getting the position I wanted. Things were great, I was getting the feedback I wanted and making positive change with that feedback. Then things took a different turn my health kicked up again and I got dark and frustrated. It reflected in my work and although progress made I knew I couldn’t be what I wanted to be in the that environment and it was time for a change. I left Cactus after three wonderful years of intense personal and career growth and learning. I consider my time at Cactus to be probably the most influential on who I am in the workplace. So if any of my former Cactus family is reading this, thank you for supporting, teaching and being more than just a colleague.

            With anywhere to go, I heard from a former Cactus friend that he was taking over as Executive Chef of a local pub close to my house. Well having enjoyed working with him in the past I offered my help in turning the place around and signed on. I won’t dwell on this time here much because I don’t have many positive things to say. So instead I will say I look back on this time as an aggressive learning experience. Now here I was, sitting at home at 28 without a job. Not a great place. Luckily for me my industry is about 30000 jobs short so I was back at work in a week at a local Cloverdale legend, The Vault.

            Spending the better part of the last 4 years working in corporate kitchens, coming to the Vault was a breath of fresh mountain air. Listening to music during prep, making specials, having some afterhours ‘wobblys’ with the staff and on top of it all a little 90 seat restaurant, this is where I needed to be. The Vault was the first time in my culinary career I was not spending time being developed but rather teaching myself and learning from the environment. I put aside the leadership and business management books and picked up my cookbooks. I made specials, I scrubbed down equipment and mopped floors. I sat and talked with the chef about things we could improve, we brainstormed and had fun. I stayed after work so I could hear what opinions the rest of the restaurant staff had about the way we worked. It was magical. It says a lot about an establishment in this industry when the average employee was there for three plus years. I don’t have enough good things to say about the wonderful people who embraced me family at The Vault, but as good as it was a phone call two weeks before I started had put an end to my time at The Vault. Which brings me to now, at 9 feet over a mile high in the Monashee Mountain Range.

            In the final week of my notice at the pub, of which we don’t talk, I got a phone call from my cousin Cory. Cory and his long-time girlfriend Cathy own an adventure tourism company up at Silverstar Mountain up in Vernon BC. One of the adventures is a sleigh ride dinner tour to a cabin the woods restaurant for 30 people. Cory and Cathy had struggled in the last years with their chefs being disrespectful, disobedient and really giving a care for what they did.  So this year, after finally getting their liquor licence, they were looking to elevate their business. Well at the time the phone call was a blessing as I had nothing serious going on and was excited to see what I could bring to them. I took a week to think it through and agreed to do at least a year and if I enjoyed it and found success I would stay for more years. So in November my buddy Brandon graciously agreed to drive me and my stuff and make a business trip of it. To quickly brush over some slow time, the first weeks were mostly spent helping my aunt and uncle, who also live up here, to move and setting up meetings with suppliers. To get a better picture of what kind of work I was in for I will say this. A thing I don’t think many people who are reading will have truly appreciated is having running water at work. Everyday me or my server will deliver by snowmobile 400 gallons of fresh water to our tanks at the cabin.  There was a lot of work to make this kitchen into one that I could alone turn out 66 guests a day.

            Although we are family and there is an inherit trust, this business was specifically Cathy’s baby and having owned a small business of my own before I know all to well how difficult it is bringing change and handing over responsibility to anyone other than yourself. We struggled to move towards a new menu that was cost effective and easier to execute for our style well still maintaining the feel of The Wild Horseman’s Cabin.  I struggled not having the same resources I was used to and also having to create a new network of suppliers and other vendors. But in the end we got off our feet and we were over the struggle, right? Nope, not even close! The thing about running a restaurant where your guests only means of getting to you is horse drawn sleigh is that you are no longer the only one who dictates your hours of operation. I joke with Cathy about this thing that was developed at the turn of the 20^th century called the automobile, she doesn’t like these jokes. Yep Mother Nature is our true boss, she holds the real sway, and let me tell you she has been a fickle bitch this year. Another unfortunate thing about a business in the winter is that it is just that, in the winter. When you only have at the very most 150 days to make your profits for the year, than every day you shut down means more than twice what it normally does, and let me tell you it is never fun. That being said there isn’t much you can do about the weather other than complain, which we do. A wise women I know used to say, “life sucks, than you die.” As a kid I used to think that it was a pretty morbidly dark thing to say but the older the get I think there more to it. Sure life will suck and yes inevitably die but there is a lot more just those two things and that ‘lot more’ is what need to focus on and make the most of. Who knows if my interpretation is right or maybe she just had enough of my shit that day. But when your restaurant is closed because it snowed too much and window from you bed looks out onto the ski hill, it would seem pretty unfair of me to wallow and not go splash some fresh pow. Who knows what kind of innovative ideas it may spark.

            To close tonight off I’ll explain the reason I finally took the time to put pen to paper. Tomorrow I food blogger coming to visit the restaurant and maybe right a piece. Although the experiences this year have been nothing but an air pump of compliments, closed eyed chewing, and insane offers to my ego, I still stress. So thank you, I’m not going to tag her here encase she hates me… AHHH.., for getting me out of my Netflix, Disney plus, and amazon filled nights and back to my paper. Before I sign off I want to say thanks for the taking the time  to read and too remind you that inside all the shit and stress filled days, there is something positive to look at and I guarantee it will be much more enjoyable. And you know the stress and shit never seems to really just disappear so when your ready go back to it, maybe it will be just a little easier to deal with now.

To Auntie Karina, Your courage and smile through the darkness will always be my push to venture into what scares me and rewards me.