The Path

“Mai I te Kahui maunga ki Tangaroa, Ko au te awa, ko te awa au.” Ine the Mauri language this translates to, “From the mountain to the sea, I am the river and river is me.” The Mauri people of the Whanganui River valley say this when describing their connection to their sacred land. When in reflection I often think back on my journey through this sacred land and the 18^th day my cycling journey up New Zealand. For only spending a day through this area I still feel a connection, like I left a piece of me there. This winter I spent up in the mountains felt like that day when looking back on it.

            It starts with ‘Dread.’ At the end of October it was very real that I would be leaving all my friends, family and new work family that welcomed me in with open arms. I was not exactly eager about making new friends in a place where I knew just my extended family. It continued with work. My new job was like no other I had done before. There was a lot of work to do to establish a base I could work with and also some things I was going to have to sacrifice. But the thing with ‘Dread’ is that it is much like the wick to a burning candle, you eventually must face the fact the wick will hit the bottom and have to move on to a new candle.

            ‘Realization.’ Although a short bit of the journey, realization of what you are  in for, or expect to be in for, plays an important role in your attitude headed forward. As the season began it started to dawn on me what a cool experience I had stumbled on, and although there were some long days ahead, it was all going to be easier doing what I loved beside some great people, minus the horses.

            ‘Rolling River Valley.’ Much like cycling through a rolling and winding river valley, this season had many of its own twists, turns, ups and downs. From the success and praise to the struggles of working and running a business that is remote and solely relies in a mode of transportation from over a century ago. Despite all of these struggles we were still moving forward and there was more to learn from our struggles than our success.

            ‘Unfortunate Ending.’ This is where the journey takes a slight diversion. On my cycling we rolled into what we thought was our final hill into town only to learn we had another 30km more to travel and it was essentially all up hill. I remember this hill bringing me through the full range of emotions. So although I didn’t have 30km to go, the sudden stopping to this season brought the emotions. At the beginning I was excited to get off the mountain because, even though it sounds weird to say now, I felt very isolated. Oh past Tanner how little you knew. But as it sank in I got sad. Although the mountain and cabin had felt like isolation, it was some great people and family. I felt fear of the unknown that I was headed towards. Lastly I experienced anger, both at the amount of work put into things we could no longer do. But also at the thing that was causing all of this to happen.

            ‘Thankful.’ As I sit here in isolation at my parents’ home waiting to move in ten days; I can fully appreciate and be thankful for what I had this past five months. I learned so much about what I could accomplish. I’m thankful for the ability to have a place to stay after things changed so quickly. As I try to figure out how to close this post I look back on the one that inspired the format for todays writing. In the last paragraph I talked about how different my situation was one year before that post and how I was not yet the man I wanted to be, but I was on the right path. Today I am still on that path but ahead there is heavy fog and navigation seems almost impossible. But this path only has one direction, so I move ahead. One cautious step at a time, alone but eyes and ears alert.

My Value of Food

                

            I like many people I'm one of those that struggles to sleep right before a big day. Whether that is a positive one or not doesn't really make a difference to the struggle to sleep, but it does change what I think about. Before a big thing that I have really been looking forward to or have been a lot of work into my mind always seems to drift into the negative. Not in the ways that I can screw it up but that for some reason I don't deserve it. Now I am by no means a saint and I've done some things that I’m not proud of but I'm sure this doesn't mean that I don't deserve to achieve or experience big things in my life. So obviously this came from somewhere. Tomorrow or rather today I'm doing my first wine pairing dinner in several years and I guess the nervousness has me spiralling. I’m not sure why I started off with this little foray into my mind but I guess it be slightly into what I was going to write about today. What food means to me and how I think about it.

One of my earliest memories of food is from when I was very young, maybe four or five, and I was down on White Rock Beach with my parents at a restaurant called Uli’s. If you know me well then you’ll know that this is still one of my favourite restaurants. In this memory I was sitting and eating clams and mussels. I’m not sure if it’s my brain filling it in but I can still taste that oh so amazing combination of butter, seafood and garlic. This memory stands out because I remember people coming up to my parents and commenting on how they were so impressed that a child as young as I was, would be eating clams and mussels. I’ve had many magical food memories since then, but seeing as it is approaching one in the morning and I should probably get some sleep, I will jump ahead to high school. In grade 10 in British Columbia you take a course called planning, basically it is supposed to teach you important things for life. Well one of those ‘important’ things is doing this test that tells you some jobs you'll be good at. My top three were chef, brew master, and chemist; in that order. So that year I thought it was my destiny to be a chef so I entered in the cafeteria program, basically culinary training, and threw myself at every opportunity I could. We’ve got a little off track but this memory needed backstory; it will help later, I think. One of those opportunities was cooking after school for banquets and I was lucky enough to be chosen to cut the roast beef at the end of the buffet. Seeing the pleased faces of people enjoying what I know realize was pretty basic meat brought joy and seared a memory. There's a lot of memories and reasons to attribute to what I do for a living but these will always stand out and that’s what I value so highly about food is that ability to not only sear a memory but also its ability to recollect old ones.

Food is more than just memories though, it's also feelings and environment. One of the worst meals I've ever had was living at camp in Kitimat, British Columbia. I know very stereotypical, camp food is bad, we've all heard it before but to be honest, besides lunches, the food in camp wasn't all that terrible by taste standards. This meal was record setting for its incredible combination of feeling and environment and not for taste. To paint the picture it was approaching mid-July and I was working an extra-long turn around so I could take 2 weeks off to go camping with my family. It was day 30 of 35 and I had just finished a sweaty 12 hour day and was excited to eat dinner and pass out until 5:00 AM for work the next day. It was lasagna/Italian night and after I grabbed my meal and headed for a beverage the fire alarm started going off. Fairly normal for camp, but before I had any chance to react we were informed it was a test and to continue eating. Well turns out something was wrong and the alarm wouldn't turn off. So coupled with being tired, weary, and missing home we had this blaring alarm. Now if you didn't know taste is greatly affected by noise, especially a blaring fire alarm. So I tried to finish my bland chewy lasagna and get the heck out of that hellhole. I'll never forget that meal because as a chef it reminded me of the importance of setting a great environment and that includes trying to positively affect the mood of your guest. Because no matter how good it tastes, if they went in upset or an otherwise bad mood they won't be open to the full experience of your dish.

The last part of the food that makes me enjoy it so much is what it brings, company. I've never been a big fan of the Christmas Holidays. Buying and receiving gifts has never been my strong suit. What I do enjoy is the gathering of friends and family. The Holidays usually means big meals or parties with lots of little appetizers. The company of friends and family I was lucky enough to grow up with included some extraordinary cooks. So as a combination the two were very formative to what I saw ‘food’ could bring. The same eyes closed and mouth full look that I strive to achieve was first discovered at a family dinner around my Oma’s table. My uncle Fred was taking the drippings of the roast chicken and was spooning it on everyone's rice. Just a simple thing but such an unbelievable flavour. This is one of my favorite food moments because the people around me, just like the environment affects the taste, the flavours of a simple dish are heightened by having the great company around you.

This all being said ‘food’ has meant so much to me in my life and has given me an opportunity to work in the most amazing environments. This post took a little while to write so I write this a month after doing my pairing dinner, we've actually done 2 now, and for all the things I've experienced in my life that I relate to food I realized I wanted my guests to experience that. And due to some unfortunate booking miscommunications we ended up with only 8 people out of the 20 we thought we would have. The dinner was designed to be sat like a family dinner, a little easier with 8 people. As well I included a welcome wine so that everyone could come together as a group and get to know each other. Much to my surprise, everything I did to make everyone come together worked and we had an unbelievable evening. With all my values of food and my time in this industry I've never considered my cooking to be the reason that I've gotten to the places I have. But this felt new, not sure if it's been the separation from corporate kitchens, no down play on the importance I place on this part of my career, or the reading and environment I’ve been in but something worked for these dines and it felt great. I've been so gracious this year too been given some insanely amazing praise for the restaurant from turning around guest experience, offers of the unbelievable and even a few standing ovations. But my biggest critic will always be myself and I am happy to say that although there a few things I wish I could change and I am not always happy with everything, for the most part I am proud of what we’ve accomplished this year. So it’s back to the books and knives for me something is heating up and I intend to try it. Cheers!