Reflection

Hello, long time no talk, how have you been? I thought about using the a classic TV cold open, completely disregarding the fact that it has been over two years since I have last written something for you but that seemed a tad rude; even if it does kind of fit my character. The last two and bit years have been an absolute whirlwind of amazing adventures and wonderful experiences with the most lovely of people. But it has also brought some sadness, pain and lessons I wish I learned not through immersion. So much to cover, we might as well start where we left off, the end of an era and beginning of a new one.

                  Cactus Club Café, Abbotsford British Columbia, October 26^th 2016. So as I wrote in my last post, yes you are going to have to run a little refresher course, I had I just taken a new job at Cactus Club in Abbotsford as an onboard Sous Chef. My first few months at Cactus were amazing. They run an operation unlike anything I had seen or been a part of before. The culture and desire of everyone to be in the kitchen for work was so new to me. The training was world class, my sous training was the better part of 3 months. The strive for continuous excellence for everyone was unlike anything I’d seen in my cooking career. Working in Abby was different for sure, as for the most part I would stay in my buddies living room instead of commuting back to my apartment in South Surrey. The whole experience and the amount I was learning was so incredibly positive. The cherry on top of it all was a summer in Toronto opening Cactus’s newest concept King Taps, a 450 seat restaurant in the downtown core, below Canada’s largest business building. Everyday there was a new set of challenges and opportunities for learning that you could only find opening a brand new concept. Though as much as I want to write on what an incredible enriching experience King Taps was, I won’t. Instead I will say it was time where I learned a lesson, through experience, about moderation and making choices more based on the their impact to myself and the brand I am trying to build and not just the amount of fun it may yield. When the summer was over I found myself being sent home from Toronto without a home, both for work and living. Luckily and thankfully I landed at the Langley location and at my friend’s, Cody and Tamra, as their teenage son in the basement of their first home. This last year at Langley I can easily say has been the most rewarding and fulfilling of my cooking career. The level of support, development and accountability I receive has been unprecedented and the friends and people I have gotten the opportunity to meet are some of the best ever. But enough about Cactus, I feel like I’m writing forcefully short because I want to get to what I truly sat down for tonight.

                  Reflection. About 5 months ago I put my writing notebook on my beside table in the hopes I would actually ignore the distractions of video games and internet for a night or at the least an hour. As we can see I was unsuccessful. Luckily with the end of the year and the holiday season in full swing we become reflective both on ourselves but also the world around us, thus me writing. I wish I valued reflection when I was younger as much as I do now. Maybe it would have helped me take myself aside for a moment to reflect and make some changes for the positive. At work I try to constantly use self-reflection to see if there is something I am doing that I can improve on or make more use of. Today I am reflective because in all honesty I am scared for my condition. I discovered and experienced more this year the effects of my medical condition on my career and my life. But before we go any further I want to clarify my reasons for today’s topic. I do not seek sympathy, sadness is not something I enjoy, but rather just a forum for me to spill my thoughts. So if you do wish to respond or comment please keep this in mind. Where were we? Oh, so in this year I have now spent over a month off work for my health and attempting to be the positive guy in the room, I hope every time that it will be the last time I spend off for my health and with the treatment I will be getting better and can go back to work, regular life and fun. Am I crazy for wanting this or having the lackadaisical view of what others view as serious? Have I not yet come to terms with the severity of my condition? Are my priorities of wanting to return to work as soon as possible out of order? As horrible as it sounds it sometimes feel like I am being treated like I am walking around with stage four cancer; like sure my doctor just said no gym or physical or mental stress but I am still walking around and I look healthy, I hope! Now I am just ranting and feel like I am coming off as a douche, but it does feel better getting it out of my head.

                  Let’s get back to a more positive theme of fun and love. This past couple years has had so much love, courage, learning and happiness even if it didn’t feel like it sometimes. If I have known you for the better part of my life, if I just met you over the last couple years, or I don’t know you at all and you somehow stumbled across this hoping to read about a New Zealand cycling adventure; I want you to know that each and every one are so influential to me whether you realize it or not. Your laughs and company are the things I enjoy most in life, well that and food.  I loved watching two of my favourite people bring the most beautiful and precious baby girl into the world. I loved watching one of my best friends continue to crush the small business game with a second store in his hometown. I revel at the high intensity massive sales days with the best possible coworkers a guy could ask for and the continuous growth and development we push each other to achieve. I watched as love tied so many of my friends and family together in the ultimate commitment. I even fell in love myself and though it didn’t have the fairy tale ending I enjoyed every step of the journey. I am so incredibly lucky to have the people and experiences that I have had up to this point and I feel this is where reflection is the most important. Because although I find so much growth and learning in my failures and missed opportunities. It’s this positive reflection that makes even a slightly broken man like me keep going. And I’m not slowing down! Cheers!

To Auntie Karina, You always were my biggest fan and I miss you so much. Your courage and eternal love is inspiration beyond belief. Love You!